Forgiveness is one of those ideas we tend to think we understand until we actually have to do it. It’s more than just saying the words and moving on. Forgiveness can be a powerful act that heals emotional wounds, improves mental health, and strengthens the bonds that matter most. Whether you’re dealing with hurt from a partner, friend, family member or even from yourself, learning the art of forgiveness can reshape the way you live and relate to others.
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as forgetting what happened or pretending the hurt never mattered. In reality, it’s a conscious process of letting go of resentment and finding a way to move forward without being consumed by pain. This process not only has emotional benefits but also measurable psychological advantages that support overall wellbeing over time.
Why Forgiveness Matters for Wellbeing
Forgiveness involves releasing negative feelings towards someone who has wronged you. People who practise forgiveness tend to experience increases in life satisfaction and positive mood, along with decreases in negative emotions and physical symptoms of stress. In two longitudinal studies, improvements in forgiveness were linked with improvements in psychological wellbeing.
It may come as no surprise that forgiving others can have a ripple effect within relationships. Couples and family studies reveal that forgiveness supports relationship satisfaction because it helps reduce conflict and encourages emotional effort from both partners. This means that forgiveness does not erase the wrong, but it can empower individuals to work through hurt and grow together rather than remain stuck in blame.
Impact on Mental and Physical Health
One of the most compelling reasons to learn and practise forgiveness is its impact on mental health. A large review of research across thousands of people found that forgiveness is associated with higher subjective wellbeing, more positive emotions and greater life satisfaction. These outcomes suggest that letting go of grudges does more than smooth over relationships. It helps people feel better in their day to day lives.
The physical side of forgiveness is also worth noting. Chronic resentment and anger can trigger stress responses in the body, raising heart rate and blood pressure and potentially contributing to long term health issues. Choosing to forgive can reduce these stress reactions and support better overall health.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Tolerating Harm
Taking the high road isn’t without its challenges. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you must reconcile with the person who hurt you. In some situations, especially where ongoing harm or abuse is involved, choosing not to forgive or delaying forgiveness until safety and healing are in place can be the healthiest choice. Every person’s journey is unique, and there’s no fixed timeline for healing.
Learning how to practise forgiveness often starts with self awareness. Acknowledging the hurt, understanding its impact and allowing yourself to feel what arises are important first steps. Some people find it helpful to explore empathy, not as a way to excuse harmful behaviour but as a way to recognise that mistakes and pain are part of being human.
Learning How to Forgive
One practical approach is the REACH method, which encourages people to recall the hurt, empathise with the other person’s perspective, commit to forgiveness and hold on to it over time. This method helps turn an abstract idea into simple steps that can be practised gradually. Research supports the link between intentional forgiveness processes and improved psychological wellbeing.
Self forgiveness is equally important. People often find it easier to forgive others than themselves. Holding on to guilt and harsh self judgement can weigh heavily on mental health. Reducing rumination and self criticism play an important role in the mental and physical health benefits linked with forgiveness.
Choosing Forgiveness for a Healthier Future
It’s helpful to remember that forgiveness and accountability are not opposites. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean there are no consequences for their actions. It means you are choosing not to let resentment control your emotional life. Forgiveness creates space for peace, without requiring reconciliation or approval of what happened.
The art of forgiveness is an active choice that honours wellbeing. Letting go of resentment and making room for compassion can help build stronger relationships, reduce stress and provide a greater sense of emotional freedom. Over time, forgiveness can become a skill that supports healing, growth and deeper connection with others.
