We all tell ourselves stories. Some stories give us strength, others quietly hold us back. Excuses are the kind that seem helpful in the moment, offering quick relief and a way to avoid discomfort. Over time, however, they can trap us. When every setback is explained away as someone else’s fault, bad timing, or plain bad luck, we start to believe that nothing we do matters.
Taking ownership is the alternative. It does not mean blaming yourself for everything or pretending circumstances never get in the way. It means focusing on what you can influence, learning from the rest, and acting on the opportunities you do have. This simple shift can change not only your productivity but also your wellbeing.
What Excuses Do to You
Excuses create a subtle but damaging mindset. Each time you tell yourself you “couldn’t help it”, your brain learns that effort is pointless. Psychologists call this pattern learned helplessness. When people repeatedly experience uncontrollable outcomes, they may stop trying even when change becomes possible. That mindset is closely linked to low motivation and depression.
On the other hand, ownership is closely tied to the idea of self-efficacy which is the belief that your actions can make a difference. People with stronger self-efficacy persist longer, are better at problem solving, and cope more effectively with setbacks.
Excuses also fuel procrastination. It is not simply laziness. Low self-efficacy, task aversiveness, and impulsiveness predict whether people delay important tasks. The more excuses you make for putting things off, the harder it becomes to build better habits. Procrastination not only hurts performance but also increases stress and undermines wellbeing.
How Ownership Works
Taking ownership is practical, not moral. It starts with small, concrete steps. Instead of worrying about everything outside your control, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can do today?” That might mean making a phone call, setting a 20-minute timer, or writing down a first draft. These small wins build evidence that effort matters.
Motivation research backs this up. Self-Determination Theory highlights autonomy (feeling in control of your choices) and competence (feeling capable) as essential needs for wellbeing. When you make decisions and follow through on them, you feed those needs. Ownership is about aligning daily action with those basic human drivers.
Language is also powerful. Instead of saying “I always fail at this”, try “I’ll work on this for 15 minutes tonight”. That shift turns an excuse into an experiment. Tracking these small steps in a journal or app can make progress more visible and motivating.
When to Seek Support
Sometimes excuse patterns are more deeply rooted in struggles, such as anxiety or depression. In those cases, therapy or coaching can be extremely helpful. Approaches that build coping skills, reframe thoughts, and encourage gradual exposure to challenges often restore a sense of control. Taking ownership sometimes means recognising when professional help is the right next step. Ownership also extends beyond productivity. People who feel they can influence their lives are more likely to follow through on healthy habits and enjoy better wellbeing overall.
Small Steps to Begin
- Pick one small action and commit to it this week.
- Use a timer and give that action just 10 to 20 minutes.
- Write down what happened and what you learned.
- When you slip, avoid judgment, just reset with the next small step.
Excuses may feel easier in the moment, but they come at the cost of freedom. Ownership takes effort at first, but it brings confidence, stronger relationships, and a healthier mind. In the end, you must choose whether to build a life shaped by excuses, or build one shaped by your own decisions.
