Healthy relationships play an essential role in our emotional wellbeing. They help us feel safe, valued and connected. Unfortunately, not every relationship has a positive impact on our life. Some relationships drain our energy, chip away at our confidence, or cause ongoing stress and anxiety. When a relationship regularly harms our mental or emotional health, it may be toxic. It can be confronting to admit, especially when the person involved is someone we love or have known for a long time. Learning to recognise the signs of a toxic relationship and understanding how to let go when needed is an important part of personal growth, self-respect and protecting our mental health.
What Makes a Relationship Toxic?
A toxic relationship consistently leaves you feeling worse rather than better. It might involve patterns of control, manipulation, criticism, disrespect or emotional neglect. Everyone has bad days and even healthy relationships experience conflict. The difference is that healthy relationships have repair, accountability and mutual care. Toxic relationships repeat harmful behaviours without meaningful change.
Research shows that ongoing negative social interactions can be damaging to wellbeing. A study published in PLOS Medicine found that poor quality relationships are linked to higher levels of depression and anxiety. Criticism and hostility are also known to increase stress responses in the body. These findings point to something many people already feel in their gut. When a relationship drains your emotional energy, it affects your overall health.
Signs You Might Be in a Toxic Relationship
Toxic dynamics can build slowly, which makes them harder to identify. Some common signs include:
Constant Criticism or Judgment
You often feel belittled or not good enough. Your strengths and achievements are rarely acknowledged.
Lack of Support and Empathy
Your feelings are minimised or dismissed. When you share struggles, instead of comfort you may receive blame or disinterest.
Control or Manipulation
This may involve guilt tripping, gaslighting, controlling your time or decisions, or making you doubt your reality.
Inconsistent Affection or Approval
You sometimes feel loved and valued, then suddenly ignored or punished. This push and pull can create emotional confusion and dependency.
Walking on Eggshells
You worry about upsetting the other person and feel tense or anxious when they are around.
Loss of Self-Confidence
Over time you notice you doubt yourself more, trust yourself less, and feel less capable or worthy.
Your Other Relationships Suffer
You withdraw from supportive friends or family because the toxic relationship takes so much of your emotional space.
If you notice several of these signs and the pattern has continued despite honest conversations and efforts to improve things, you may be dealing with a toxic dynamic.
Why Letting Go Can Be Difficult
Letting go of any meaningful relationship is painful, even if it is unhealthy. Human beings are wired for connection, and emotions often do not follow logic. Love, guilt, fear of being alone, shared history, or hopes that the person will change can make it hard to step away. Some people also feel responsible for the other person’s happiness, or worry that they will seem selfish for putting their needs first.
Psychologists refer to this as emotional investment. Reasons for people staying in harmful relationships include hope for improvement, guilt, and fear of loss. Understanding this emotional pull does not mean you should stay. It simply means you are human and your feelings are valid. Letting go does not mean you failed. It means you chose your wellbeing and self-worth.
Steps Towards Letting Go
Letting go does not mean you failed. It means you chose your wellbeing and self-worth.
Acknowledge the Pattern
Admitting the relationship harms you is the first step towards change. This isn’t about blame. It’s about honesty.
Set Boundaries
Clear boundaries help protect your emotional space. Communicate your needs calmly and firmly. If the other person repeatedly ignores them, that tells you something important.
Seek Support
Talk to trusted friends, family or a mental health professional. Support helps you stay grounded and gives you perspective.
Plan for Distance
For some relationships, reducing contact creates space to heal. In more harmful situations, ending the relationship may be necessary.
Focus on Self-Care and Rebuilding Confidence
Toxic relationships can erode your sense of self. Invest time in activities, routines and relationships that nourish you.
Moving Forward with Strength
Healing from a toxic relationship takes time, patience and compassion. You may feel grief, confusion or even relief. Every emotion is normal. What matters most is that you gently rebuild trust in yourself and your ability to form healthy connections. Meaningful relationships should support your growth, not hold you back. Choosing to walk away from a harmful connection is a powerful act of self-respect and a step towards a healthier future.
